Subject: Big bit me!
Geographic location of the bug: York, Ne
Time: 10:13 AM EDT
Your letter to the bugman: This booger bit me!
How you want your letter signed: Itchy & Scratchy
Dear Itchy & Scratchy,
You were bitten by a Bed Bug. Chances are if there is one, there are most likely more.
Well darn. 2019 OFF TO A GREAT START. Gotta go, time to burn my house down. Just kidding. But I’m sad and overwhelmed. Oh goodness.
We are sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Bed Bugs are very adept at hiding during the day, under the mattress, behind pictures on the wall and between the wall and baseboards. You might need professional assistance.