Knock, knock. This really bugs me!
Kept hearing some thumping noise the other night ago by the kitchen back door. The door has a window and screen, and the window was wide opened. So, go take a look-see and see this buggar of a bug! eek! There were two at first, but the other one flew the coop, so to speak, and probably off to gather reinforcements. The ‘thumping’ was these two airborne of unknown squardron knocking up against the window screen. Emanating from this creature was a kind of scratching sound. I peered closer and, Swear To Beetlejuice, I saw his bicuspids gnawing away at the screen in attempt to enter the premises, to therefore I presumed, start gnawing on away on yours truly. He even stopped for a moment and looked up, eyeing this reporter with a salivating, hungry grin, accompanied with a most evil and intent. After licking his chops, said invader then resumed to eat away at the screen once more with renewed and zealous relish. Well, nonchalantly I backed off and moseyed over to the den, (at a dead heat run, mind you), to retrieve a fly swatter… in this case in the form of my trusty 12 gauge double-barrel shotgun. Catching my eye, though, as I hurriedly was loading up a couple of double-ought buck shotshells, was the ol’ digital camera sitting upon the table. Hm, better first take a photo of this beastly bug, then there be proof of attack by this man-eating Thing so the insurance company will therefore remit reimbursement for the two big, smoking holes that were momentarily about to appear in the window screen. Too, identification should be in order, which may assist in saving All Mankind, if your brave writer here should not. Such the reason for rushing off a photo or two to your well admired web site. Rather quickly, I might add, for… wait, let me check, oh yes, this Monster nearly has chewed a hole big enough for his head to squeeze though!!! yikers! Quick reply needed. Imminent! Regards,
Jim L.
P.S. Vitals: Where; Tulare County, Calif. Western Sierra Nevada Foothills. 2000′ elev. Mere yards from the North Fork Tule River. Time Of Event; Night time, (eerily dark). Kitchen porch light on. Circa July 01, 2008. Creature of Uncomfort; Winged. Just under 3″ length. (Thumbnail photo to soon follow, as I took a photo with a tape measure next this abomination, but he moved, (and barked!), thus the pic was blurred and ruined. And, No , it was not from my shakingly steady hand, hrmph!!). ;o) jim

Hi Jim,
A query this verbose (actually, we are not certain there is even a question here) demands a concise answer: California Prionus, Prionus californicus.

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