So… yeah, what’s this bug?
Found this thing walking around my basement and my friends and I have no idea what to think about it… I’m sure you know, so please inform! All I know about it is that it is a really poor climber and would not attack a beetle.

Hi Jake,
Your creature is an Arachnid known as a Solpugid, commonly called Wind Scorpions or Sun Spiders, though they are neither scorpions nor spiders. They have no venom, but powerful jaws and rip their prey apart. It is rumored they are excellent climbers, contrary to your observation. They are also aggressive hunters, contrary to your observations.

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